Dreams

I have been dreaming a lot about love and things like it. I would like to say it ISN'T because I fall asleep every night reading breaking dawn, but I think it probably has a lot to do with it. At least I haven't been dreaming about werewolves and vampires.... yet. I had a really vivid dream last night, and it was pretty much exactly what I was doing before I fell asleep, which made it a bit harder to figure out what was real and what wasn't. that is of course, until I woke up. anyways we were sitting on the couch, Cassidy had his head in my lap as usual. The only difference was that Meagan was there, which I guess should have tipped me off that it wasn't actually happening. Rio and Meagan were in the  bathroom getting ready for bed and me and Cass were just sitting around watching TV. The weird part was that he leaned up and kissed me and when I asked what that was for he said i looked like I had been waiting for it for a really long time. Don't think this gets spicy, because the dream pretty much shifted right after that to us all going to blockbuster and renting a movie, then watching it on an outdoor screen on the (now non-existent) pen hi front lawn. Sigh. eff my brain. 

eblarg.

I'm at work and i think i already managed to get donw 90% of the stuff i had to do. I'm holding off doing the other 10% becuase i still have an hour and a half to do it. balls. the nice thing is that rio and josh have been hanging out the whole time and i enjoy the company. this is really just a "pass the time" blog entry. so here is a list in point form of what is on my mind.

• Cassidy. But he is always on my mind.
• Matt. Kinda in the back, but i really do feel bad about the break up.
• Rio. More about the house then just her, but I'm going to help out around there alot more for her, I agree that i am quite a slob.
• Meagan and Adam. They are one now, it's nice..... but also I really never saw it coming.
• Jesse, Luke, and Norman (aka chasing red lights) I really want to design them a poster, but I don't have much faith in myself to come up with anything creative.
• work schedule. will i be able to pay off my last quarter? I don't WANT to be thinking of this.
• Cassidy. More. and whistler. it's going to be a really sick trip.
• this is internet "eblarg." I've decided to rename this post right now.
• BORED AS TITS.

Once

Every once in a while there is a song, or an artist who really affects me.

Right now it is a couple of songs, including classical orchestra music.

this is the first time that I have really appreciated this type of music and I really really wish this would have happened to me earlier. I guess I would have been too young to really listen to it. 

But all the same I just can't stop listening. It's on repeat over and over again on my ipod, on my laptop, and playing in my head throughout the day. 

I've tried to figure out why it is so important to me now and I have a few theories. There is the fact that there are no lyrics for one. Songs with lyrics can really force you to apply a tone to it, but these songs, they sing in your head. At any point that I listen to this song I can just think of what ever mood I need to be into, and I calm down, let my emotions pour out, and finally put my brain on hold.

It's.... breathtaking. 

yes I know.

yes.

I like twilight.

blogspot is my secret twilight fan girl explosion.

sorry.

I should care more.

it's weird even to me that i don't.

but i only love

HIM.

I was broken...

I was tied

and now I'm bound.

My head is off the ground.

For a long time was so weary,

tired of the sound,

I've heard before

knowing of the nighttime at the door

haunted by the things i've deemed.

Stuck between the burning light

and the dusty shade.

I used to think the past was dead and gone.

I was wrong.

So wrong.

Whatever makes a flower,

must make you strong.

At my time i've melted into many forms

from the day that I was born. 

but I know there is no place to hide. 

stuck between the burning shade and the faded light.

I was broken for a long time

but it's over now.